Fun? What does that even mean?

I am 21 years old, in the summer between my junior and senior year in college at Bryant University in Rhode Island, and am in my third year of racing triathlons. I'm 21 now and I started when I was 19. In my first year, I got better each race I did, and by the end of that year I was a triathlon fanatic and in the best shape of my life. All through high school I was a conventional multi-sport athlete - Varsity Football, Swimming, and Baseball. The most I ran without stopping was about 100 yards, and although I was a strong swimmer, I hadn't rode a bike since a bad crash when I was in 5th grade. But I got better each race I did as a noob, and had tri-fever. I considered quitting college swimming at Bryant to focus on biking and running full time as well, but with the harsh New England winter I thought it wouldn't really be worth it.

After Timberman 70.3 2010 - 4:53.30

So the summer after my sophomore year, I was back swimming, biking, and running again, and I was still getting even better. A local legend here in Connecticut, Chris Thomas, probably the best amateur triathlete in the U.S., says you learn something new in every race. I kept getting faster, and went from doing pretty well in my age group in sprint races to Olympic Distance Tri's and enjoyed them more because of the longer swim. Then I did Timberman 70.3 at the end of the summer and broke 5 hours in my first half-ironman at 4:53. I was pretty thrilled for doing that in only my 2nd year of doing triathlons, being my own coach, and only bike and run training for about 7 months of the year.

Starting out on the run, don't usually hang too long.

So then I decided I should get a coach, have structured consistent training, and keep getting faster and fitter like I did for my first two years. That was the plan, and I followed the plan from February to now, four and a half months later to June. I was committed to the plan and worked very hard at hitting every workout and made many sacrifices during the school year to do so. Didn't have much of a social life, didn't get much sleep, and didn't take my school work too seriously. I was training all the time, doing Army ROTC Training, going to off-season swim practice, and working on starting the Bryant Triathlon Club. My grades suffered the most, unfortunately. I had a good showing at the Providence Half-Marathon on May 1st with a time of 1:32, 15 minutes off from the half marathon I ran for the last leg at Timberman 70.3. But since then, unfortunately, I haven't been as successful in my races.

I've done a couple races in May and June, and haven't been happy at all with the results. I can't seem to put together a strong swim, bike, and run in the same race. I don't think it has to do with me getting coached, or not putting in the consistent training, because the potential is obviously there. But in the Rev3 Quassy Half-Ironman I caught some terrible luck and got a front flat tire going down the last big hill on mile 47 of the bike. I was 2 hours and 15 minutes in, going 30 MPH around the corner after going by the bottom of the hill, when I realized I couldn't control the bike anymore, and boom, I slid across the corner of the road on my side into some guy's front yard. Fourty-seven down, and only nine miles to go!!!! I would have kept going, knowing that I never wanted to be a DNF unless I could no longer move. But I put the spare in, and the valve was bent from the fall and I couldn't get it to inflate. I waited on the corner of that road for at least 45 minutes, hoping a support vehicle would come and I would salvage my pride and finish the race, although I would still be nowhere near the PR that I think I would have gotten. Finally an 80 year old local pulled up in a 1984 Ford Pick-Up and drove me the remaining 9 miles to Quassy where I reluctantly turned in my chip and was a DNF for the first and last time in my life. I went out on the run course and ran 4 or 5 miles with my buddy Tim Steiskal and I was feeling great, which only added to my disappointment.

A Twitpic by my boy Zach Bowen from heading out onto the bike onto Rev3. Unfortunately, I never made it back on the bike...

So that was fine, fast forward two weeks and I was racing my favorite race, Pat Griskus Olympic Triathlon out at Quassy once again, the New England Regional Championship. I had the 2nd fastest swim and T1 in the race, get out on the bike, am ready to let it rip and make-up for lost time for the Rev when I get to a sharp S turn 3 miles in, and I nearly wipe out taking a turn down the hill. I couldn't believe it. I was scared out of my mind going for a turn on the downhills, and every time I went above 30 MPH I would get speed wobbles and think I was going down. I was having some awful thoughts about crashing again, and I no longer wanted to go fast. I knew my brother and Tim Steiskal were up ahead of me smashing the bike, and I no longer cared about being up there with them. I thought about getting off my bike and walking it back. But instead I just rode as slow as I possibly could down every hill (the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do in a race?). My bike time was 1:11, so I think if I wasn't riding like a girl I could have been at least somewhere down near 1:06, and I would have been in much better shape going onto the run.

But I was trying to be mentally tough and just get ready to have my best run of the year after going easy on the bike because I've been running slow as hell in races. So I came off the bike with this guy Colin who is same age as me, also does ROTC, and always seems to beat me. I tried to tell myself this was when I'd finally beat him, in my back yard at Quassy, and we ran stride for stride for around a mile. I really thought I would just stay right with him until he got too tired and then I'd pull away on the 2nd lap of the run. Well that plan went wrong pretty quick when he dropped me and I couldn't go with him. I bonked and Colin turned in a strong run of 40 minutes, exactly what I was hoping to do. Pretty frustrating after riding so easily and hoping to hammer the run, but instead I added 4 minutes to my run of last year in the same race when I biked even harder.

So I am signed up for Cohasset Sprint Tri, a race in Massachusetts, exactly a week after Griskus. After the race, I told my dad I wasn't going to do the race, I hate biking, and I want to retire. I was pretty disappointed in myself. Then Joe Maloy, a professional triathlete that used to swim at Boston College and is chasing the Olympic Dream, sent me a tweet that said, "  @Idoit4theGLORY: Keep your head up bro. Keep it in perspective and focus on having fun."   I thought yeah, yeah, that is a good point but it is only fun when you're winning and I am far from winning. How can losing be fun?

So now, just a couple days later, I decided to try to take my (not-so) trustworthy Specialized Tarmac out for a ride, and went on a group ride with the local Waterbury Tri Club. They were going for a 31 mile loop out around Quassy, on some of the roads that both the Rev and Griskus were on. I had never done a ride with them and it started out pedistrian pace, no one was tried to break away, they were just riding along on the longest day of the year, enjoy each other's company and training on some good hills. Towards the end of the ride, we went down the same hill that I flatted and crashed on in the Rev, and as we went by the same spot where I was laying on the ground, I thought about how much more fun I was having on this bike ride than any other I'd had in a long time. I didn't care that we weren't averaging 22 MPH for 2 hours, or that we had to stop 4 or 5 times to let other people in the group catch up. I was just having a good time, I was having fun again.

On the left - before triathlons

On the left - after Triathlons

So I no longer want to sell my bike, or never do a triathlon again. I just want to do what Joe Maloy said - keep it in perspective and have fun. That is what I did when I first started doing tri's, a way to get in shape for swim season. I lost 40 lbs from when I was a senior in high school to when I did my first tri. I didn't care that I wasn't the fastest guy out there, although I wanted to be, I just enjoyed having fun and going 4 the glory. The pressure I put on myself this year, I think, is what has been making me lose sight of this. I think having a coach that has wanted me to truly succeed has made me train harder and differently that I had in the fast, made me take it a little too seriously and apply too much pressure to myself. Because I had bad luck and had a poor race, I should quit? That is ridiculous. I realized on the Waterbury Tri Club group ride that I was having fun, and from now on that is all I want to do when it comes to triathlon - have fun.

Brendan